Tuesday, December 8, 2009
a near-death experience..
We were dumb, plain dumb, and we actually thought we were being smart...
Some random IBMer sent us an invite for a seminar which would be 'life-altering'!! and blah blah.. of course we didnt't beleive that a bit.. nothing can change your life so drastically.. at least not a seminar.. at least not mine.. I have a problem with listening for more than 10 mins continuosly.. I never could..
But we thought it would at least have a 10% effect.. maybe! And we thought we could get up and run if it gets too boring.. so five of us, feeling quite proud of ourselves that we were leaving office 3-4 hours early, started towards the venue of the seminar.. for somehting we foolishly imagined to be fun.. All the while making jokes about 'how jobless are we' to be leaving for a seminar on a weekday!! and somehow, we were quite happy about it..
We reached the place, having narrowly missed being hit by a bus and an auto, and almost killing a biker and a pedestrian.. (the lady who had graciously given us a lift was driving in a sari.. which is the world's most uncomfortable thing!!.. though at other times I kind of admire her driving. it's kinda good).. It was later in the evening when we realized being part of an automobile accident would actually have been better..
Anyways, we were the first to enter the hall.. "Oh my God.. what if we were the only people in there?? we cant even get away!!" but slowly the hall filled up with people inching towards their slow death..
And then it started.. not at all what we had gone there for.... A splendid case of false marketing.. we were promised a life-altering blah blah and what we actually got was a sorta cazy, hyper person trying to sell us a 3-day 'self-help' course.. He kept jumping up suddenly screaming random phrases.. 'passion!! passion!!' and long clueless sentences.. sumthing like.. "your past is not in your past, but in your future.. you are not a product of your past.. but the future you are living into.. " and as he rambled on abt "past future crap crap... future future.. this view that view.. crap crap future future.." I really wanted to get up, shout to his face "dude you are screwing my 'present'" and walk away from that inferno.. but no, i sat there stupidly enduring all and that wishing that this particular guy hadn't been born..
Oh, and he was not alone.. he was aided by a team of what appeared to be actors in those cheap 'Telebrands' commercials.. all eagerly jumping up and describing how wonderful this course was.. They were all so eager to grab the mike that if sumone would have told them that only one speaker would have a chance, we could have witnessed a 'mass wrestling' match right there.. All we could think was.. 'How much have they paid you to say this?? We'll pay you double to just shut up!!'
After around 3 hours of this , I heard the sentence which was like nectar to my ears.. "Thank you all for coming".. we didnt hesitate for a miute..grabbed out stuff and ran like mad.. the gracious 'lady in the sari' had slipped out 20 mins earlier clutching her phone and yelling "hello.. hello" into it..
It took me a long walk in the fresh air with a friend, and a huge cup of coffee to become human again..
So ppl! Next time someone gives you an invite for a 'life-altering' seminar, forward it to your worst enemies.. :)