The antidote to chaos – is order.
Over a period of time life gets cluttered. Rather, your brain does. Memories, feelings, dreams, pieces of broken dreams, fantasies - these get accumulated slowly. So much so that u might feel stifled, and there’s no place for new hopes and dreams. Then you stop. There’s a kind of a pause in life. It hangs in suspension. N u hang in it, having coke (cola) and swinging your legs, watching the world go by. Slowly however, you realize the purposeless-ness of your existence and you go berserk at one particular point of time. That’s when you need a psychiatrist. Go ahead and get one. I kind of feel it must be a lot of fun. To talk endlessly to a person, telling him (in my head, it’s always a ‘him’ – a really handsome ‘him’) anything and everything. He has no option except to listen, and listen attentively. coz you’re paying him. Pay someone to make them listen to you. Now that’s an idea… ..
I’m not talking of serious mental ailments here. They require medication and all. No no.. I’m talking about random nonsensical turbulence which occurs in the minds of random people like me. The above mentioned crisis happened to me some months ago, n is still kinda going on. Well not so much right now. Guess I’m cured. Yes it was a crisis, coz it made me put on a lott of weight. I know of a certain female who actually loses weight when she’s upset/depressed!! Hate her. But I digress. So this condition took a major toll on my life. Naah, it wasn’t sad or something, I can’t be sad for a long time. I just went into this shell with a truck-load of inertia. I ate, wasted time and made merry and bugged everyone who was close to me.
But there were snatches of time where I felt useless. It angered me that I was wasting my potential in mindless pursuits. Yet I couldn’t come out of it. So I asked my dad to get me a psychiatrist, and he laughed it off. I couldn’t afford one by myself, so I turned to my friends and turned them into kinda shrinks (funny word, that). I talked to them. Endlessly. Poured out all my shitty troubles. And they, bless their souls, endured it. Well not all of them, but whatever..
I guess somewhere deep down my mind realized I was desperately trying to get out of it, and in one Eureka moment, it threw the solution at me. (it did take its own sweet time to do so, mind you)
“The antidote to chaos is order.”
(I’ve finally gorwn up enough to make up cool quotations. Hmm..)
Routine. That’s the mantra. No I’m not talking about becoming a timetable of sorts (remember Dil Chahta Hai? ). Routines are boring, yes I know. But in circumstances like these, they save lives. I have made little routines that I have decided to religiously follow. Not planning my entire day, but having a set of things, important things, that I will do every single day, no matter what happens. There’s order now. And discipline.
This little change has brought so much of improvement. I feel better about myself. I’ve come out of the mental rut, I don’t hate my work anymore, I’m not lazy, I’ve got that teeny bit of discipline I so badly needed. And the best part was when I stepped onto those weighing scales.. tra la laa moment.
So get your own routine. Make up your own everyday to-do list. Stick to it. Your mind will resist, you have to fight it. Give it a lil help by rewarding it and also by not making the routine too boring. It’s fun to have a thing you do regularly. Your own thing. It helps.